Lefties Turn To ‘Cuddle Parties’ To Deal With The Triggering Trauma Of President Donald Trump

When complaining doesn’t work, and the fake news media hasn’t made a dent, when violent street protests and ridiculous accusations don’t stick…what’s a delicate social justice warrior to do to deal with the emotional trauma of a President Donald Trump?

The answer, my touchy-feely friends, is to cuddle.

That’s where The Love Dome comes in. Every Wednesday and Saturday night, the Venice, California “space” turns into a “Cuddle Sanctuary,” a place run by Jean Franzblau, where disaffected liberals, millennials, and other whiny types go to get hugged by strangers and spooned by like-minded lefties.

As Rolling Stone describes, the “elephant in the room during some of these sessions, though, is the current state of the country’s affairs. Since November – and the election of Donald Trump – professional cuddling services have seen a spike in client interest.”

One of the co-founders of the “Cuddle Parties,” Marcia Baczynski, said that Trump is “triggering” lefties’ natural instinct to whine as much as possible.

“The work is actually political now,” Baczynski says. “It used to be the case that you talked about cuddle parties because these are important skills for life – everyone’s navigating boundaries. And now we need to have boundaries with our government. How the fuck do you do that? How do you conceptualize having a leader who is essentially an abusive asshole?”

One “cuddle client” named John (who wouldn’t give his last name because … well, he’s a cuddler), said Donald Trump makes him really really sad and all the drugs he’s taking aren’t helping:

For others, generalized anxiety and depression are heightened because of some of Trump’s executive orders. John, who declined to give his last name, originally sought out cuddling services after determining talk therapy and prescribed medications didn’t fit his needs. A veteran who served in Iraq, John felt that a combination of his experiences and chemical makeup contributed to his mental health and that the inclusion of positive touch in his life was the most effective form of treatment. Since Trump took office, he noticed his stress levels creeping higher again. The day prior to the inauguration, John received a career-changing job offer. Days later, it was rescinded – the job was a government position and Trump’s federal hiring freeze prevented the department from moving forward with John’s employment. Cuddling has been a way to help him cope.

“I think that there’s so much stress in people’s lives these days, and especially in today’s political climate,” he says. “What a cuddling service can offer is that opportunity to lower those stress levels, to relax, and [to] go back to the basics and seek out some human touch.”

The creator of this nonsense, Jean Franzblau, runs the “Sexual Esteem with Jean” consulting firm, where she gives talks about sex and intimacy. She insists that these “cuddle parties” are strictly G-rated. Of course they are.

Jean Franzblau, who has a college degree!

Franzblau has zero professional training or academic credentials in anything resembling psychiatry, therapy, or even sexuality. The disclaimer on the bottom of her website says it all: “Jean Franzblau is not a physician, psychiatrist, psychologist or licensed psychotherapist and does not provide medical advice.”

So what exactly is Jean? On her personal website which features a quote from her saying “Sometimes I surprise myself,” here’s how she describes herself:

With her background as a writer and performing artist, Franzblau created the solo show “Coming Out Kinky – A Grown Up Comedy” which she has performed in cities across the country to spark authentic conversations about sexuality.”

And what are her academic credentials? She’s got a bachelor’s degree from UCLA in communications and business.

That’s it. So good luck with all that cuddling from a real college graduate.

Hey! Donald Trump’s a college graduate! Maybe he can give you a hug?